


How to Produce a Patronus

by IvyCpher



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Book 5: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Good Draco Malfoy, M/M, Patronus, Pining Draco Malfoy, Slytherin Harry Potter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-10-12 22:17:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17475986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IvyCpher/pseuds/IvyCpher
Summary: Draco gave a sigh and ran his fingers through his hair. This was the fourth week the D.A. had been going over patronuses and everyone even Longbottom had perfected it. His hands felt hot and sweaty and his chest felt tight with anger. Why couldn't he do it?





	How to Produce a Patronus

Draco gave a sigh and ran his fingers through his hair. This was the fourth week the D.A. had been going over patronuses and everyone even Longbottom had perfected it. His hands felt hot and sweaty and his chest felt tight with anger. Why couldn't he do it?

Draco cast a look back over his shoulder, Harry was just ushering out Hermione and Ron, telling them to pen back to him once they were safe. When Harry turned back around Draco quickly looked away.

“You know it took me a long time too,” Harry said slowly as he walked over to Draco.

Draco stayed silent, and looked down at his wand. Harry was his closest and only friend besides Hermione and Ron but they didn't count, he was just friends with them because Harry was friends with them. He and Harry had been friends ever since they first met on the train to Hogwarts, then they were both sorted into Slytherin and over the years their friendship only grew.

But while their friendship progressed, slowly realization dawned on Draco. It dawned on Draco why his father was so insistent on him becoming friends with Harry. And finally, last year after the Triwizard Tournament when Harry returned from the maze clutching a dead Cedric Diggory in his arms and the fact of Voldemort's return did Draco fully feel betrayed. Harry had told him that his own father was a Death Eater, a loyal servant of You-Know-Who and had attempted to kill him.

It felt horrible hearing it from Harry because Draco knew it was true, deep down he knew his father was a Death Eater, but to finally be told it felt like he had just been doused with freezing water. It was even worse because he realized that he had just been a pawn for his father to give Voldemort easier access to Harry.

Last summer after the tournament, Draco packed up and left his family's estate and had been welcomed by Mrs. Weasley into her home to stay with them.

Closing his eyes tightly, Draco heard a small voice in his head mutter that maybe he deserved not to be able to produce a patronus. That it was punishment for accidentally providing his father (and in turn You-Know-Who) with information about Harry.

Suddenly Draco felt a hand on his shoulder and he jumped around only to see Harry.

“Draco? Did you hear me? You zoned out.”

“I'm fine,” Draco muttered after a pause. His eyes stared at the pink scar on Harry's hand.  _ I shall not tell lies. _ He looked away and shrugged his hand away. “It's just I've been working forever at this damned thing. I should've gotten it by now.”

“Hey, a patronus can take years to master. It's fine that you don't have the hang of it right now.” Harry gave a soft smile but when Draco just looked away he gave an awkward sort of cough and looked down at his watch. “I brought the cloak with me, if you want we could stay here a while longer so you can keep trying.”

Aside from the shame that had been bubbling in Draco since last summer, there was also another feeling that he was even more ashamed for having. “Why not, even if we are caught perfects are allowed to be out of bed later.” And that feeling was the heart throbbing pain he felt every time he looked at Harry. “I could always say that I was stopping you from graffiti-ing Umbridge's office door.”

Harry gave a snort of laughter that caused a soft heat to rise in Draco's cheeks. “Yeah, you could say I was trying to draw a great toad or something.” He shook his head and smiled. “Maybe it's the thought you're using, it might not be happy enough.”

“Maybe,” The memory Draco had been using was of his first night at Hogwarts when he was sorted into Slytherin. He bit his lip and thought for a moment before the memory of the the first game of Quidditch he had ever played at Hogwarts swam into his mind. With Harry as seeker and he as a chaser, they played against Ravenclaw and won 160 to 40. Draco raised his wand and took in a deep breath. “Expecto patronum!” Only a feeble wisp of white blue smoke left his wand, but it disappeared almost immediately.

“Dammit!”

“Hey that was better than last time!” Harry said quickly, grabbing ahold of Draco's shoulder and smiling at him reassuringly. “You got smoke and that's way better than nothing.”

Draco's whole body felt hot with anger, he dropped his wand to the floor so he wouldn't end up snapping it in half. It rolled away from him and stopped at the foot of a duelling dummy. “Oh stop, just stop. You know I'm doing horrible so just say it!”

“Draco you're doing just fine!” Harry grabbed Draco's wand off the floor and held it out to him. “What's wrong mate? You haven't been- well yourself lately.”

Draco snatched up his wand and sighed. He was tied between some smart ass comeback and lying, but he didn't want to have Harry upset at him. “Nothing, nothing's wrong other than I can't do this stupid charm.”

Harry just looked at him.

“I'm not lying.”

“I never said you were,” Harry pulled out his own wand and rolled it in his hands. “If you say you're fine-” He looked up at him. “Then I believe you.”

Draco opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. He looked at Harry and felt his heart beating uncomfortably in his head. “You'd think it's stupid if I told you.”

“Try me.”

It took Draco a moment before he responded. He talked quietly and directed his gaze away from Harry. “I just- I feel horrible that I gave my father access to you for all these years. That I gave him information that was used in plans to kill you.”

“That wasn't your fault, you didn't know.” Harry took a step closer to Draco, there was no space separating them. “It's not like you were doing it purposely.”

“But did I?” Draco whispered, he could feel his eyes starting to burn with tears. “I mean-” He shook his head and closed his eyes tightly for a second to combat the tears. “It's not like my father really hid it you know, hoards of dangerous dark arts stuff hidden under the parlor, his hatred for the Weasleys and muggles, I lost him in the crowd last year at the Quidditch World Cup too, don't you remember that? Now we know that he really was under one of those masks..”

“Stop talking like that!” Harry grabbed ahold of Draco's arm. “You didn't cause this!” Draco turned towards Harry when he grabbed ahold of him. When Harry saw the tears in Draco's eyes his breath caught in his throat. “You didn't cause this.” He said once more, quietly.

All Draco could do was give a soft nod in reply. All of those things had been building up in his chest like some massive balloon, but the balloon was still there, though not as swollen. It was only filled now with the feelings he had for Harry. The feelings he knew that Harry would never return.

Harry didn't let go of Draco’s arm, they stood there looking at each other in silence for nearly a minute. Finally a heat darkened Harry's cheeks and he took a step back. “Should we head back then?” He asked the floor instead of Draco.

“But I still haven't gotten a patronus yet, we can't go back now. Not yet.” Draco quickly wiped his eyes on the cuff of his robes and then looked up at the ceiling for a second to prevent anymore tears.

Harry looked up at Draco and raked his fingers through his dark hair, making it even more untidy than usual. “I suppose,” He pulled back the cuff of his robes and looked at his watch. “It's nearly 9:30 already.”

“Scared of being caught then, Potter?” Asked Malfoy with a gentle smile.

Harry looked back at Draco with his own smile. “You wish, Malfoy.”

Draco ran his thumb down his wand and brought it up in front of him. He was just starting to think of a happy memory when he thought of something else. “What memory do you use, Harry?”

“Me? Oh,” Harry looked up at the ceiling and gave a large exhale. “I have a couple.. But the one I used in Little Whinging was that party all the other Slytherin’s threw when we won the first Quidditch game of the season back in our second year.”

Draco's heart pounded in his chest, his mouth felt dry. “I tried using that one just now,” He shook his head and gave a sigh. “Maybe I just don't have a memory happy enough.”

“You've got to have a memory happy enough, and if you don't you have to have something you really want don't you? Something that will make you happier than you've ever been?”

Heat rose in Draco's cheeks. He crossed his arms about his chest and gave a stiff nod. “I suppose-”

“Then try that,” Harry suggested.

Draco just stared at Harry. Yes he had a want that was sure to make him happy, but he was sure that it would never happen. Because that want was to kiss the always oblivious git right in front of him. Nonetheless he thought of it, he thought of kissing Harry. Draco felt the heat on his face only grow as he raised his wand and said “Expecto Patronum!”

Nothing. Not even the smallest wisp of smoke.

Draco let his arm fall to his side defeatedly.

There was silence in the room of requirement, neither of them moved and neither of them spoke.

“Maybe try saying what it is,” Harry said quietly. “It can help you see it more clearly.”

“No, let's just go back. There's no use staying here all night.” Draco huffed. “We've got that Transfiguration test tomorrow to worry about.” He turned around from where he was standing and started to walk to the door.

Harry spun around and followed Draco, he grabbed ahold of his hand. “No, I'm not giving up on you. You're the one who wanted to stay until you produced a patronus, and I haven't seen you make one yet.”

Draco froze when he felt Harry grab his hand, he looked back at him and so desperately wanted to get away, but then again he didn't. He wanted to stay here with Harry and keep holding his hand. “Fine. But if I fail this test it's on you.”

“If you fail I'll pay for your butterbeer on the next Hogsmeade trip,” Harry said smiling. He released Draco's hand. “Now come on, since your memory wasn't working, tell me what wish you used.”

When Harry took his hand away Draco open and closed his hand into a first a few times. “I wished for Hermione to stop bugging me about my O.W.Ls and Perfect duty.” He lied.

Harry gave him a skeptical look, “I don't believe you, come on you want to produce a patronus don’t you? Tell me what you really wish then or we'll be here all night.”

Draco wasn't surprised Harry saw through the lie, he knew he would. But anything to prevent him from saying the truth for just even a second was better than actually saying it. “I want,” Draco said, his voice tight. He hesitated and then quickly took ahold of Harry's hand once more. “I want to kiss you.” His voice was fast his face very red.

Harry looked stunned, his eyes looked shocked, but on his face there was a blush spreading across his dark cheeks.

Realizing his mistake Draco released Harry’s hand and stepped away. “I know- it's foolish..” He felt the balloon in his chest pop and it filled his whole chest with a sharp pain and made it hard to take in any air. His eyes were burning with tears again. “Wouldn’t work anyways.” He turned heel and quickly started towards the door.

Before Draco knew what was happening Harry had grabbed his hand again, spun him around, and was kissing him.

The kiss as quickly as it happened had ended when Harry pulled away, he was looking at Draco with a determined look in his eye. “If you wanted to kiss me, why didn't you ask?”

Draco's eyes were wide, he struggled for words for a moment. “You're a git.” As he said this there was a smile pulling at his lips.

Harry laughed, “I've been called worse.” Then in a flash he kissed Draco again.

Draco's wand hand wrapped around Harry's waist and he felt Harry's hand drape his shoulders.

It felt like a dream. Draco was snogging Harry Potter. The pain of the popped balloon in his chest was gone and instead replaced with the lightest giddy feeling that Draco had ever felt.

Draco was the one to break the kiss this time, “Let me try that patronus one more time,” He whispered, removing his hand from Harry's waist.

Harry only gave a nod, he did not detangle himself from Draco and Draco was glad. Draco brought his arm over Harry's head and in front of him. “Expecto patronum!” He shouted and a white blue light ushered from the tip of his wand. In a second the light morphed into the small form of a ferret that scampered around them both.

A grin broke across Draco's face and he laughed loudly. Then without a care in the world he kissed Harry again.

**Author's Note:**

> When I started rereading Order of the Phoenix I got the idea of Draco and Harry kissing and Draco trying to form a patronus.


End file.
